Who is More Miserable: a biological father or a religious father?

Refreshments and Candy

While some people were attending Christie Pub, Christie Hall's semester show featuring local acts, I and about 50 others were in the UP bookstore watching Fr. Charlie Gordon,  Theology professor and Brian Doyle, editor of the Portland magazine and parent of three including twin boys that once threw up on him (AT THE SAME TIME!)

Over the following hour, the audience was treated to a mix of lighthearted banter, sparring and deep discussion shifting toward larger ideas. One of these topics was the question of loneliness and how either can handle the moments of loneliness when they occur. 

Fr. Charlie believed he can be lonely due to his priestly lifestyle, the relatively small number of people who  require "Fr. Charlie's services" and his nature as an academic to not be as engaged emotionally as others.  However priests should be able to come to grips with loneliness. Fr. Gordon, paraphrasing a Joeseph Brodsky quote about bordem made during a commencement address, encouraged the audience to embrace the loneliness and go into it for loneliness/bordem (the actual subject of the quote) to embrace the knowledge and wisdom inherent in the situation to help create a solution to your problem. By embracing the situation and going deeper, one is better able to grow spiritually and bridge the gap of actual loneliness and perceived loneliness.

Brian Doyle had felt misunderstood but he himself had not felt lonely as a father, though he understood other fathers could feel lonely at times. Doyle believed he encountered the "jostling of expectations versus ambitions" rather than feeling lonely.

After they finished, I encountered a different pair of  Father and a father discussing this same issue, this time asked by a woman named Mary.

 Josh Noem, the father, and LXG coordinator has encountered lonely moments without his young children and wife in the house.  He says he has had trouble determining what to do because his young ones, around the ages of 8, are still at that stage where they want to play with daddy.  

Fr. Frank Murphy followed a similar course to Fr. Charlie by learning to embrace the loneliness inherent in being a priest but he can overcome that feeling by acting within his environment, regardless of the acts being small or substantial.

One downside of seeing Bryan Doyle is how he will tell certain stories again and again even if the story fits the context.  The stories can still be useful, funny or poignant  but sometimes they feel like the punchline to a joke you have already heard several times before.

Fr. Charlie discussed how to be addressed by those outside Catholicism and Christianity and the fun of being among the "motley crew" of the Order of the Holy Cross; while Doyle mentioned the disrespect and insults typically slung by children about their parents speaking and their attire.

In the end, the debate was considered a draw by Jamie Powell, director of the Garaventa Center and MC for the event. However, next year could see topics including Fr. Charlie getting tattoos, whether hermeneutics really means anything or even a discussion on surfing, so those people who cannot wait to get their fix of non-serious debate turning serious can start speculating who will come out the "winner" for the next debate.

Who do you think has it harder, priests or male parents?